Are we taking the fun out of dating with our overuse of technology? It is so rare for a man to get your number and actually pick up the phone and call you. More often than not, they get your number and text you. You get to know so much about a person before you even go on a date. It used to be when a man asked a woman out that both people were anxious and excited about the first chance to get to be together face-to-face. It used to happen that, a good man would drive to a woman's house, pick her up, open the car door, take her to dinner and show her around town. This happens so rarely now. It is a blessing in disguise to finally meet a man who still wants to take a girl on a date, old school style.
A lot of the thrill and excitement of meeting someone new is being taken away by cell phones, text messages, Facebook and even Facetime or Skyping. We are now able to text as soon as we exchange numbers. A guy might not even call a girl before he takes her out. And then when he does take her out, he often doesn't open her car door, much less pick her up at her house. I understand this may be scary for some women, to let a man know where she lives, but the offer should still be put on the table. But now that we can text all day, we have often already decided how we think or feel about the other person even before we get to the first date. I can almost feel within the first day or two of meeting someone if it will go anywhere or not because I learn too much about them without being around them.
Not only is this messing up the beginning of relationships, but the entire relationship itself. Some relationships have a great balance of texting, talking on the phone, spending one-on-one time together and do have great communication. However, many relationships suffer because emotion is lost when so much of a relationship is built in black and white. Translation can be lost and people are not able to learn each other as well when so much of their relationship is just words. How can we really learn someone if too much time is spent with technology instead of a person. If we took half our energy out of texting and spent more time dating, we may end up having more fun, find ourselves getting anxious again and building a good solid foundation for a relationship to exist on.
Lastly, I believe technology is making it much more difficult for people to heal from a broken heart. Everyday people go on Facebook and tag people in posts, post pictures and even update their own statuses. People can easily text you something they heard or who they saw your ex with and it is instant. We used to be able to end a relationship and possibly never see or hear from that person again(depending on the size of the town or city you're in), but now they pop-up in our newsfeed, are online when you're online and are in your head even when you hadn't been thinking about them. I imagine you are supposed to delete them from all your online connections but then there are still mutual friends who make posts and that is what has really been getting to me lately. My ex never posts anything but anytime he writes on a friends picture, post or in our mutual ski groups page, it is like a swift kick to the chest. My heart aches immediately and the urge to contact him is so overwhelming, I can hardly breathe. I tumble back into the place I thought I was moving past and have to start the healing process all over again. Can't I just let this go?
I wonder if I would feel different now if I hadn't seen his face, or a post, or a tag from another friend on Facebook for the entire month we haven't been talking. I wonder if it is keeping him in my head more or keeping me from healing. Does this have any impact on him or does it not bother him at all? I do love technology and the simplicity it brings to our life but all good things come with negative aspects. Too much of a good thing, can be bad and I want to try to think about this more going into my future. I want to try to be more present in the moment, in person and being, than spending most of my time alone drowning in a Technology Press.
